My birth month always hits heavy on the self reflection. If I’m being honest, 32 isn’t a year I would choose to repeat.
This year was difficult. I knew it would be.
My biggest battle was against myself.
I entered it knowing that my confidence in myself would be paramount to navigating the challenges that lie ahead. Being confident and strong in my decisions would be necessary when faced with hard choices.
As I look back in the year, I realize I chose the path of most resistance. Because I’m hard headed and that’s what I do. I wouldn’t learn if I didn’t do it the hard way first. Sometimes I have to fuck things up juuust a little extra to really learn.
This was the what we dared.
This was the year we stepped into new roles.
This was the year we took risks.
This was the year we planted seeds.
This was the year that we dug up some dead roots.
I’m very proud of the woman I was this past year. She did some hard things. I’m determined to make her even prouder.
I got married!!! I started a new business. My kids crushed it in school and I deepened my relationship with each of them. I taught a sold out workshop in Maui. I expanded my team. I victoriously fought multiple court cases. I started therapy and continued working on deep trauma. I took risks in my business.
I spoke my deepest desires out loud and had them met with loving curiosity.
While I wouldn’t repeat 32, it was necessary to lead me to where I need to be.
Here are the top lessons I learned this last year:
1. Fuck What They Think: Being your authentic self is the key to happiness. Don’t sacrifice on your happiness by not honoring your needs. Your needs are your NEEDS. They cannot be negotiated on.
I say this to myself as much as anybody, because 32 seemed to be the year I needed to hear it the most.
When you push yourself beyond the limits of what you’ve ever known or done, you are going to question your path.
When you’re willing to expand beyond the boundaries of “normal” you will experience friction.
Holding true to my core beliefs became paramount to staying the course and fueling what I needed this year.
2. You set the standard for the behavior you allow in your life. Be very mindful of this in all things.
3. Set boundaries. Learn to say no and prioritize your own needs and well-being without feeling shame. Hold yourself to the boundaries you set, even if it hurts. You created them for a reason.
4. Self-care is essential. Burnout isn’t an option.
Take time for yourself and prioritize experiences that revitalize you.
5. Choose people who choose you.
The relationships I have are becoming more and more important to me. I want to be intentional about the time I spend with others, and I want to surround myself with people who genuinely give a fuck about me and vice versa.
6. Trust your gut. Your intuition never lies.
7. Fail quick and often. Learn even faster. Mistakes and setbacks are opportunities for growth and learning.
8. Protect your energy. Enough said.
9. Give yourself the same kindness and grace that you extend to others.
10. Healing takes time. Your mental health is a priority. Healing is your responsibility.
11. Learn to let go. We are all human and we are all learning our way through life. Understand that they were learning too.
12. Scared money don’t make money. Don’t be afraid to start that new business.
13. Vulnerability is a form of strength. When you shine light on the darkest parts of you, the shadows aren’t so scary.
14. Prioritize positivity. What you feed your mind has an impact. The words you speak carry weight. Minimize the negative talk.
15. Practice self-acceptance. You cannot degrade or belittle yourself into a happier state of being.
16. Limiting beliefs will stunt you. Identify them with a quickness and work to change the script.
17. Invest in your personal growth. The best investments you will ever make are in your personal development. Prioritize that.
18. Find your passion and the things that spark you outside of the daily routine.
19. Build a community. You need people that GET you. You will have to build that for yourself.
20. Take ownership of your happiness without expecting others to make you happy.
21. Practice gratitude for the things I do have rather than looking at the lack.
22. Accountability is everything. Acknowledging your failures prevents you from repeating them.
23. Embrace the messy parts of life. Those uncomfortable emotions are so revealing. But STRUCTURE AND SYSTEMS will save you. Growing rapidly can reveal the cracks. This is where you create systems to solve.
24. Be more assertive and decisive. Communicate your needs and desires clearly and respectfully so there is never any confusion.
25. Love yourself, dammit.
26. Stop skipping your doctors appointments. Stop putting off your health.
27. Don’t be afraid to take risks. You have surrounded yourself by smart people that love you. Lean on them when you doubt the big decisions.
28. You’re most like the five people you surround yourself with.
29. Practice mindfulness. Maybe take up yoga again.
30. Embrace the slow. You’ll need it when life hits rollercoaster speeds. All has requires working breaks.
31. Advocate for yourself. You aren’t a victim. Don’t victimize yourself.
32. Feel the suck. Lick your wounds. Don’t be so quick to blaze past the hard chapters so that you make the same mistakes again.
33. You’re still learning. Be easy on yourself, kid.
September 17, 2023