I returned home from Guam feeling depleted. A cross country trip with your family will do that to you. I left for Guam hoping to come home feeling refreshed and recharged. One bout with Covid, several frustrated talks with my mom, and a coconut mishap that cost us $2k in car repairs left me feeling like I needed a vacation from my vacation.
I booked a trip back home to Hawaii within a week. Even better? The flight, rental car, and hotel cost me a grand total of $49
HELL YEAH AIRLINE MILES!!!
Why Hawaii? Well…I left a part of my heart there and I have to revisit it every once in a while so it doesn’t thaw.
I moved to Hawaii at 17, less than a month after I graduated high school. My parents had moved us from the Bay Area of California to this tiny town of 3,000 people in Arkansas just before my junior year. I was so excited to start my new life and be with my fiancé (now ex-husband) that I had been dating since I was 13.
I had to call my parents that night and tell them I was essentially homeless after being kicked out of the barracks. The plan was to sneak me in at night and live there until we could get a place of our own. But he got a sunburn and called 911. The crew of firemen, paramedics, and police alerted the barracks petty officer of my presence, and we were kicked the tf out 😂
I spent my first night living in Hawaii sleeping on the floor of his friend’s house. But it didn’t matter. I was happy.
I didn’t know just how much Hawaii would impact my life moving forward. It was the first time I felt home. California gave me the freedom and safety to be myself. Arkansas taught me how to defend it. Hawaii taught me how to exist with pride and love for myself and others.
I grew so much that summer. It was a crash course in adulthood, and honestly, being homeless in Hawaii is the best place to learn how to get it together. Two years later, I started my business.
My very first client was a woman who flew down from Canada for the weekend just because. It was 2010, and she owned a lash extension company. I was amazed that she could do that.
So when I tell you that coming to Hawaii for a solo trip for my 35th hits differently—a month after returning from Guam where I honored my grandmother for her 85th—know that it’s on a soul level.
Since I’ve been here, I’ve fire danced. I’ve gone to a nude beach by myself for the first time. I’ve asserted some serious boundaries. I’ve felt powerful as fuck and connected to myself. I feel like I’m getting a very full picture of the woman that I am and the woman I’ve become.
I’ve had these full-circle moments that have shown me just how much I’ve created a powerful fucking life. And if 20-year-old me could only imagine where I’d be now, she would be so proud.
These full-circle moments have been a powerful reminder of the life I have built for myself. A moment to pause and appreciate the woman I am becoming—to honor my journey, to fully celebrate my time on this earth.
The best part? This isn’t the end of the story. Like the mountains, I will stand rooted and unshakable. Like the volcano, I will erupt, break open, and create new worlds from the fire inside me. Like the ocean, I will rise and fall—endlessly returning to myself.
We may stumble. We may fall. We may break wide open. We may need to crawl…
But I will always rise.
Again and again.
Like the waves.
Like the lava.
Like the woman I was always meant to be. 🌺
October 6, 2025
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